Fantazia - Into the Wonderland - 30/09/06 - Review 5

I’m straight for the taxi rank, asking for Fantazia, the driver doesn’t know where it is, so I say Braehead, & ask how much (£12). We have a few words about things & a few periods of silence on the way, until I see the turn-off to Braehead & get excited. Both the driver & myself notice that at every roundabout from there on in are signs pointing the way to the party (nice one Charlie), then all the driver has to do is follow the signs till he sees the huge queue, then I pay him & get off.

Being VIP (paid for) I need to know where the box office is. I get told by two lads selling set times, so I buy one as thanks, then head for it. There’s quite a queue here too, so I join one of the four lanes. I get to the front & am issued a red wristband after my name & code are checked out, then join the real reason for the queue: the wait to get searched. Meet a couple of girls near my age, & a bloke who was in a car crash, like he was letting that stop him!!!!

That’s dedication for you!!! While waiting someone comes out & shouts “If ya want to be on the DVD then make some noise!!!” This gets everyone buzzing, less frustrated & more excited as it helps us feel like we’re already part of the party!!!!!!!!!!!  So a huge woop is let forth from us all, with the odd plastic horn being blasted too. Soon afterwards it’s my turn to stand in single file to be searched. No bag inspections, but everything gets sniffed by a spaniel called Zoe, then we get metal detectors down our legs, but I don’t get done as the police lady says “ I can see your legs!” After this we get an opportunity to fuss Zoe the spaniel, who loves the attention she gets from all these friendly ravers, then I have to establish myself.

First stop is the Ladies, then I get some drink tokens to last me for the night, next I suss out the locations of rooms 1 & 2, then I strip down & seek the cloakroom, while having a fag. When I find it I wait outside to finish the fag, then put my un-necessary stuff in, then crack the lightstick, attach the globracelets, get in the door & party!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MEETING & GREETING

I get my first drink of Diet Coke & see the Dancing Snowmen Crew, speaking to a few to ask the location of Jamster & Katey, but they don’t know where they are at that time. Twisters goes at my waist in one of the pockets & I’ve missed everyone before Slipmatt, who’s doing a great job spinning some early rave tunes for us. While bouncing I meet some more folk without getting any names as yet, then realise I’m not zipped up – AAAAAAAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!

Sort this out quickly then continue bouncing, when I’m spotted by two girls taking piccies with a VERY expensive camera. They are part of Nocturnal Media by the look of their t-shirts & I tell them who I am. Dream Frequency are on next & get the place going some more, as a bloke stands on my foot. He’s instantly apologetic, & I say “what are you so worried about? This is a rave, ya stand on someone’s foot, you’ve made a new mate!!!” We shake hands at this & continue dancing, then I get another drink, seeing Emma, Mossie & co on the way to do so.

Back in & Ellis Dee is proving what I was told about him not necessarily being a D&B bloke, but my set timetable tells me I should be heading upstairs for the meetup. At the top of the stairs is Zippy, a wee girl with short streaked hair. I spend a bit of time with her in between bouncing & her chatting to her pals, including Suzy, whose name I have to keep asking later.  Next to 21:00 Born Slippy comes on & I have to bounce to that from where I now am next to the stairs, after some officials tell us to move off the landing, then after that tune Zippy & I go to the window for the meetup.

For a moment or three nobody’s there from the forum, then Jamster & Katey arrive, after that it’s intro after intro, in no particular order, Bex, Killiewinkie, Charlie (Fantazia - with a beard), Errol (cute wee grinny hug who can’t stop telling me how mad I am),  Kyle (tattooed everywhere), Garry Lee (looks like the piccie on Myspace & gives me a Utopia flyer), Keaty (loud mad party boy who’s instantly likeable), Pleasurehead (not as fat as he said he’d be, wears glasses too), Hashmonster (skinny lad in a Fantazia t-shirt & a hat), Rich Solaris Brainstormer (whose name I must have asked six times), & several others also. We are the coolest bunch in the place there, & loads of pics are taken of us all, my main disappointments are the lack of Marco, Carole-Anne, Old Skool Richy & Big Paul, but otherwise what a time of it!!!

Meanwhile Jon Mancini’s house keeps us bouncing a bit, although it’s doing some of our heads in as this is NOT what we all came for. I hang around hoping that at least Paul makes it, but he doesn’t, so I go outside to the landing, then rush straight back yelling “They’re playing On A Ragga Tip!!!” in the forum possee’s direction. I don’t think they hear me though, so I go back out to bounce to the remainder of that track before SL2 go off & Mallorca comes on.

I’M HERE TO BOUNCE!!!

Get a fag & another drink has been taken while at the meetup, then back in for Mallorca’s set, seeing Glen Smurf & Leyna, who both greet me very warmly indeed, sweethearts!!! Mallorca has control of both the dex & the mic, & does considerably well on both!! My only complaint at all is that the pace is a bit too slow, more MST than core, but still bounceable, so I bounce to some quality tunes & some amazing ones. During this time I thought I saw Sweets, but he disappeared before I could speak to him & introduce myself. Towards the end of Mallorca’s set I have another smoke, as I know I’m booked for the following 75 minutes by the next two acts on. I get back in again to the last track Mallorca puts on, then Ramirez (unmissable act number one) comes on.

I have to mention the male official who thought he had the best job in the world tonight, & bounced along with the rest of us whenever he could. No Spanish Chicken, but otherwise excellent stuff, including a house track I remember from the days before I really found techno.   XXX is rapping to Ramirez, & doing as well as always, respect to my fave MC. I’m now in a corner down the front, eyes peeled, but no sign at all, there must be another way for the DJs to go in like.

In fact my first sighting of unmissable act number two is on the stage, during Ramirez’s last track. Then unmissable act number two hits the dex. I move in a wee bit, then the crowd transports me to the middle of the front, 3 folks away from the barrier. The first couple of tracks are not what I’d expect, probably due to the slow pace, but the speed builds up to proper core speed then the first classic I recognise comes on, & nobody has any doubt from this point on who it is they’re listening to: Guy! Bass Generator!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My whistle spends nearly all of its time in my mouth, going “pheep pheepheepheep pheep”, Twisters is out of my pocket into my right hand with my lightstick, I’m bouncing like mad for the former two thirds of the set to loads of hardcore classics & the only reason I’m not so mad through the latter third is that’s when I get squashed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My right arm & my whistle have to do all the talking for that time. For a good while I’m just behind a bloke in a Neophyte council waistcoat, half deafening him with my above said whistle. I introduce myself to him, forget his name & find out he doesn’t mind my essential support of my best-known friend. At some point during this some bloke starts rapping away, so I rap the MBA (B, for the banging beats, etc). XXX raps a bit, Madman raps a lot, some other MC who I later find out to be Robbie D raps a bit & a special guest is on too: MC Gee!!!!!!!!! OI OI!!!!!!!!!!! I know some of yas think MC Gee is not a good MC, but tonight he proved to me why he’s my second fave. The feel-good raps were coming out very well indeed. Guy! even dances behind the decks to some of the tracks he plays, as well as shouting with the rest of us to WMMMF. All I can say is I hope I get more room at Utopia. Guy! Do ya! hear that???? You’re getting blamed for my being crushed, & the black state of my shoes immediately after yer set ended!!!!! Yeuch!!!!!!!!!!

GIMME A BREAK!!!

Guy! comes off the dex to make way for Baby D, fortunately their music is melodic enough to be chilled to. I’m there long enough to discover that their singer is live as I hoped she’d be, nice one girl, back to the corner for some space, then making my way out for a fag after giving up in disgust at the fact the official says I need a blue wristband to get behind the fence, & mine’s red grrrrr!!!!! I see Julie on the way out, & we introduce ourselves to each other, having a quick chat, before she heads for her mates & I head for the fag & some cool air. I smoke the fag, then go back in, meeting Budfordtjustice, to find the upstairs bar, where at least they serve whole bottles of Diet Cola, which is drinkable too, & any other place where the red wristband will let me in.

There’s only one bit, & only the house DJs would be there, but it’s the only bit with seats in, so I sit on one with my drink. Sit through a bit of Brandon Block, who seems to be rocking the place, shaking like a leaf for some reason I can’t explain, maybe the need for a chill. Back outside for a bit again, then as it starts raining, check the time: 00:20!!!! This makes me decide the best place to shelter is the tent, so I join the queue for it, then find my way in. Brisk at this point is playing happycore, but I know he’s not scared of a few harder trax, he mixed them for Ready To Fly back in 1997, so he can do it now. I go near the front, & it’s not as loud in here as the other areas are, or maybe it’s just the tracks. I sit down to one side, watching the tent possee going for it, & getting my bum as clarted as my boots are… M

y right arm, still holding the lightstick & Twisters, bounces to the beat to keep my adrenalin going, then Brisk plays a trak that samples “I Walk Alone” by Greenday, so I get up for it & start bouncing. It’s getting harder, which can mean only one thing: Glen Smurf is due on soon!!!

WHAT I’VE WANTED TO DO ALL NIGHT!!!!!!!

As I’m bouncing to Brisk’s last few trax, I’m joined by Bod, the Geordie Gabba Traveller, who asks me how my night has been. I tell him what’s happened so far, then watch in amazement as he vaults over the fence!!! Must be great having a site entirely devoted to featuring party nights out on it, ya get VIP treatment everywhere!!! He remains exactly opposite the fence from me as I catch sight of Glen Smurf & Leyna coming in, & they’re not alone!!! Several others are hanging out wi them, including one I inastantly recognise, so my whistle does another “pheep pheepheepheep pheep” in his! direction. As Guy! has already played his set, he! Now has time to socialise wi the crowd in here, ready to support Glen Smurf. Unfortunately he! sticks mostly to the right, so I do the only thing I can: “Bod!!!

I need to ask you a huge favour: can you get Guy! over here please!” Bod agrees to do this, then goes over. He doesn’t come back, but within a minute I’m greeted by a huge hug & an enthusiastically loud “THERE YOU ARE…” as if Guy! has been looking for me!!!!!!!!!! We chat about things & he! tells me he can hardly see a thing from the decks, then I ask after Abi. “She’s here”, I’m told, then she comes over.

I had soooooo wanted to meet her in person, now I was, & I’d longed to thank her in person for looking after my best-known friend for more than five & a half years, so I did!!! We hugged, & she tries on my glasses, then Guy! tries them on too, saying I must be as blind as a bat without them. Not exactly, but I can’t read with them off… “What’s this!!!” he! says, as he! spots the pony. I tell him! some of the amazing adventures of Twisty Tail, the My Little Raving Pony, & nuzzle him! with her as I tell him! “She likes you, she really likes you!”, then I ask if he! Wants to kiss her, like Rob Gee & Alex* Technotrance did.

He does, then threatens to bite her head off, but I tell him! Glen Smurf already tried that, then about the wee dance Alex* took Twisters on. He! says he! already knows all about it, fae me, Glen Smurf, or fae Alex* himself, I don’t know. I could have spent all night chatting to him!, but the beats that Glen Smurf was playing demand my feet on the floor, & since I missed his set at JD, I owe him this, so I start bouncing, not that Guy! would mind of course, besides, there’s probably more folks wanting to speak to him! In here, & my night’s been made enough now!!!!! Cheers Bod!!! Bod, meanwhile, has got his camera, & takes piccies of the folks bouncing to Glen Smurf, I hope he has piccies of me!!! I’m bouncing a load to the skipcore & the hard tunes Glen plays, including the latest Dominator trak he probably got off of HR in July.

After about 40 minutes or so I’m roasted, so I go outside, where it’s cooler, & the rain has stopped, so I bounce outside, to the delight of Leyna, who’s out there watching, plus a few officials, to whom I tell the way my night has just been made & that all I need now is to meet Big Paul. Ten minutes of Leyna’s begging to see more of Twisters, me bouncing outside to Glen Smurf & bumping into the odd raver, & other such carry ons later, some bloke a wee bit taller than me enthusiastically says my nickname. I look to see who said this & acknowledge that aye, I am Mad Elaine, then he makes my entire night by saying HE is Big Paul!!!!

I woop my head off & hug him for ages!!!   We then spend the rest of the night chatting & laughing, while I tell him my only worry of the night; how do I get back home? He agrees to put me up at Dundee & help me get on Errol’s bus.

ME & BIG PAUL

From the moment we set eyes on each other, everything else vastly reduces in significance, the only thing that matters now is I’ve finally found my best online pal, who’s now my soulmate!!!!!!!! We manage to grab a bit of Dyewitness, including the playing of the Future, with a very good MC rapping to it, who later turns out to be Korrupt, respect to ya, but completely miss Neophyte, not that we care, we’re too engrossed in getting to know each other.

A lot of times he goes “Aaaaarrrggghhh!” as he can’t believe he’s finally met me!!!! As for me, I’m absolutely rejoicing in meeting him!!!!! He can’t find his fags, so we’re smoking mine, plus he has only one drink token, where I have 3, so I’m getting the drinx in, then a girl comes over asking if we want to get drink tokens off her as she’s going home. She lets me off wi a fiver for them, as she doesn’t have change of a twenty. Nice one girl, whoever you are!!! I see Julie too, along wi several others, & shriek to them that “I’ve found Big Paul!!!” Then I need my stuff fae the cloakroom, so we go to get it, then on goes the jacket to keep me warm. We’re hugging loads, & even start kissing, awwwwww!!!

Then he says he’s hungry, & for some weird reason forgets the snack bar & goes outside the area wi me, to try & find a place that serves food. I tell him we should have stayed inside re the snack bar, but it’s too late now, then we come beside some hedges, & Paul decides to chuck me in one!!! This leads to a game of chucking each other in the hedges, along wi me making both of us fall in!!! Message to the hedge keepers of Braehead: sorry about the mess we made!!!!!!!!! Half the hedges had dents in them due to not being able to bear our weights!!!!!!


Mad Elaine